[FEEDING] anxiety - the first bald spot

it is important to share your story, to embrace it. this is mine.

Allow me to provide a quick backstory- the memory of finding...

THE FIRST BALD SPOT:

as my weight continued to drop throughout my four-year weight loss, the "healthy lifestyle" transformed into a full-on crash diet- i cut food out, all-together. as my mind & body spiraled out of control, my mindset warped into something truly unrecognizable. let me share with you a snippet of my personal diary:

"i spiral every time there's a plate of food infront of me....i morbidly delight in starving myself for days on end... why do i hurt myself, over and over; maybe i can figure out why i forget to appreciate beauty in life, in myself."

as i forced my body to literally waste away, i encountered some serious medical issues, increasing my anxiety ten-fold. i had difficulty functioning at work, socializing with friends, and maintaining a healthy relationship. eventually, it became the norm for me to experience at least two panic attacks per day (usually once in the morning and again in the evening...).

on Sunday, February 5th, 2017 [Superbowl Sunday], i woke up more anxious than usual, and walked into the bathroom for my morning routine. as i slowly brushed my hair after showering, i noticed something very odd at the top of my head.

a circular patch of hair was missing.

as i look back on that morning, i can't quite describe with words the sheer horror and shock i felt, standing there, looking at my reflection, seeing this shiny, white BALD SPOT smack on the top of my head.

i began to scream.

 

Everything will be okay. Step 1: BREATHE.

Stay tuned on how to handle the aftershock of your first alopecia experience.

xo, Clarisse