the HAIRway to Heaven

I have feared the great & powerful WHAT IF my entire life, I've struggled for full control of every aspect of my existence.

Fearing and obsessing over this elusive concept crumbled the foundation of many relationships, hobbies, passions, and most importantly, my own self.


Yesterday afternoon, I found myself fully immersed in the NOW by an experience of supreme love

this experience changed my life. 

dear reader,  here is another story about Ferrari and her owner, Joanie:

early this week, i received [rather painful] steroid injections in the two large bald patches on my head in hopes of regrowth. within hours of the procedure, i noticed hair LOSS- this was absolutely devastating to me- despite the comfort of loved ones, i found a corner in my room and just cried. alone.

this alopecia journey has been a roller-coaster of emotion. one moment i am bursting with inspiration and the next, i am a deep hole of bottomless grief. one moment i see little stubbles of hair on my patches and the next, i'm bald as a baby's bottom. HOORAY for the human experience!

as i sat crying in my room, tears spilled over onto the screen and my ancient phone began to glitch. panic infected bloodstream, because GOD FORBID my phone breaks. through my tears, i reset my phone. when it turned back on, it oddly navigated to a singular text message:

"...most of all I'm just so happy to have helped you find some comfort!"

i constantly fight for control. but there is SO MUCH about my fate that I have NO CONTROL over. sometimes, things just HAPPEN. 

i responded to Joanie's text, explaining my situation. she responded immediately, calmed my nerves and provided an opening for my mom and I to come visit her and Ferrari [this beautiful woman is so selfless and caring that she went out of her way on her BIRTHDAY to help me...].

so, there i was, back in the salon chair, tears in my eyes and Ferarri on my lap.

Joanie took meticulous and gentle care of my hair & my heart. she was so incredibly detail-oriented and precise in her craft. i felt my chest tighten when i noticed a large glob of my hair in the wet shampoo bowl, but Joanie reassured me throughout the process and comforted me. 

the stories Joanie shared with me about her days at work sparked a new mindset within my own self- stories of women with alopecia, pattern baldness, trichotillomania, brain cancer. Joanie even shared an extraordinary story about how she provided a hair solution for a woman who passed away from cancer- Joanie put hair on the former cancer patient in order to comfort the grieving family at the funeral. 

these stories inspire me, they spark a mindset that my living is not so much determined by what life brings to me as by the attitude i bring to life; not so much by what happens to me as by the way my mind looks at what happens.

nothing is a coincidence. everything i experience is meant to happen exactly how it is happening. 

embrace the lessons. be grateful.

Joanie's procedure on my head was nothing short of a miracle- what she accomplished for me was an experience of supreme LOVE. Joanie not only gave me courage and hope,


she gave me my hair back.


To Joanie:
Your kindness truly has me at a loss for human words, I can't fully express my gratitude. You sparked a change in my mindset- You took my hand and helped me feel beautiful, not only on the outside, but on the inside. You give me hope & courage to embrace the WHAT IF. This journey is a long road, but it is a glorious adventure, and I welcome it with open arms.

In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.
Stay tuned for more about my progress & more stories of Joanie & Ferrari.

if you are suffering from hair loss in any form, please contact me & visit Joanie's website:  A Natural Image Studio for Hair

you are never alone.
you are loved.